What is the nature of your anxiety? Does it follow you always and everywhere, wherever you go? It is cold and sharp, or it becomes so overwhelming that it is difficult to get out of it? Does it completely take over your mind, emotions, and body sensations?
Anxiety is so cruel and uncomfortable that most people who live with it simply dream of getting rid of it, of throwing it out of their lives.
That’s the nature of anxiety: it traps you and makes you focus on it rather than on anything else.
But when you look at anxiety differently, you can change it and the way you approach it. For example:
- Anxiety is just a “tail”, an annoying little brother, which means that I lead, and it follows me, not the other way round.
- Since I’m the leader, I decide where I’m going, what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, and how I’m feeling. Even when the anxiety gets too big, it still doesn’t block my way out. I can move forward in spite of it.
Anxiety is rooted in fear, and fear makes us feel like a taut spring. Anxiety tells us what is dangerous, and fear always prepares us for problems. This excessive alertness prevents us from seeing reality clearly and narrows our perception of ourselves and the situations we face on a daily basis. We are constantly waiting for the problems that our anxiety has “sketched” for us – and this leads to exhaustion of the nervous system, and therefore the brain needs breaks.
One of the most important things you can do to stop anxiety is to take care of your brain. Taking regular short breaks throughout the day will go a long way towards improving your life and making your day as pleasant as possible. Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. When you notice that your anxiety is growing, negative thoughts and strong emotions appear, your brain is asking you for a break.
Stop what you were doing, get up, take a walk. Do something that will calm your mind and the reactions in it that cause anxiety, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Here are some options to switch gears:
Breathe in and out slowly and deeply several times.
Bring yourself into awareness and focus all your senses on the present moment.
Notice your surroundings, but do not evaluate them. Focus on your surroundings, not on disturbing thoughts and emotions.
Read a few pages of a book.
Draw or colour something.
Take a break from computer and phone screens.
Give your brain a short rest during the day and you will notice how anxiety reduces.
Think about the following question – it can help you replace anxious thoughts with better ones: What will be running through your head instead of anxious thoughts? What will your life be like when your anxiety disappears, and your thoughts become calm and happy?
Write down the answers to the following questions in a notebook:
When you are not thinking about anxious things, what is the first thing that comes to mind?
What would occupy your thoughts if your anxiety were not so strong?
What could you do differently if your anxiety didn’t get in the way?
If you answer these questions thoughtfully, you will be able to set a goal for yourself and understand what you want to see in the place of anxiety.
Create good moments in your day. If you’re ploughing through the day like a tractor and dragging anxiety along with you, it’s exhausting. Our days are just our days that do not belong to anxiety. We have the power to create good moments in our days!
What will your life be like when anxiety is no longer a problem? It may be hard for you to answer, but you are not alone.
The fact is that anxiety takes over the human brain. Take away what is yours, imagine a life without anxiety – this way you will begin to take control of your thoughts, feelings and actions again. When you allow yourself to think about and describe your life without anxiety, you will change the scale of your thoughts, your life will unfold, and your fears will gradually disappear as you make the unknown future known. First of all, try to answer the question: “What will life be like when anxiety is no longer a problem?”
The answer to this question is a process of self-discovery, which can be difficult to start.
If you take the time to explore and formulate your values, you will be able to understand what you want from life. This will give your life a new direction that has nothing to do with what you don’t want. A step you can take now.
Your values include self-esteem.
Finish these sentences: I am… (what?).
I am good at…
In my relationships, work and communication with others, I give…
I am valuable because…
Imagine what a wonderful life you would live if anxiety did not weigh you down. Describe yourself in that life.
