No one can “cure” war, rape, molestation or any other horrific events. Unfortunately, what happened cannot be undone. But we can and should work to understand
- how the body, mind and soul react to trauma;
- why there is a feeling of tightness in the chest, which can be called anxiety or depression;
- where does the fear of losing control and the constant readiness to face a threat come from;
- how the inability to fully open your heart to another person arises;
- why self-loathing, nightmares and painful vivid memories are present in life – something that prevents you from focusing and living life to the fullest?
Trauma deprives a person of a sense of control over themselves. Therefore, the main task of recovery is to master one’s own body and mind, to find one’s “I”.
Most people need to:
1) find a way to calm down and concentrate;
2) learn to remain calm despite visual images, thoughts, sounds or physical sensations that remind them of the past;
3) find a way to live to the fullest in the present and interact fully with others;
4) get rid of the need to keep secrets, including the secret of what one had to do to survive.
These steps are not sequential; they overlap; some may be more difficult than others, depending on individual circumstances.
Trauma is much more than just a description of what happened. The emotions and physical sensations experienced during the trauma are not experienced as memories, but as harmful physical reactions in the present.
In order to regain control, one needs to mentally return to the trauma. Sooner or later, it will be necessary to accept what happened, but only after the person feels safe, to avoid re-traumatisation.
The priority task is to find a way to cope with the feelings and emotions associated with the past. The engines of post-traumatic reactions are in the emotional brain. Unlike the rational brain, which manifests itself as thoughts, emotional brain works through physical reactions. It is when something seems to sink in the chest, breathing becomes rapid, as if the heart is breaking, a person speaks in a strangled and piercing voice, and makes movements typical of numbness, anger or defensive posture.
Why can’t we just be rational? And can awareness of what is happening help?
The rational “executive” brain is great at helping us understand where the feelings come from. At the same time, it is unable to cancel emotions, feelings or thoughts (such as a constant nagging sense of danger or when a person believes that he or she is a terrible human being, even though formally there is no guilt).
The main challenge in dealing with post-traumatic stress is to restore the balance between the emotional and rational brain so that a person feels in control of reactions and the life. When we provoke a state of over-excitement or apathy, we go beyond our “window of tolerance” – the range of optimal behaviour. We become irritable and disorganised; our filters stop working, and we are disturbed by sounds and lights. Unwanted images from the past invade our minds, and we panic or give in to anger. If we close ourselves off, we stop feeling anything in our minds and bodies, and our thoughts become confused.
In order to change post-traumatic reactions, it is necessary to “reach out” to the emotional brain and restore the limbic system, fix faulty anxiety systems and restore the normal functioning of the emotional brain so that it functions quietly in the background, making sure that we eat, sleep, keep in touch with loved ones, and protect our children and ourselves from danger.
Conscious access to the emotional brain can only be gained through self-awareness. That is, through the activation of the medial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that monitors what is happening inside us, thereby allowing us to feel. Most of our rational brain is focused on what is happening outside. It helps us get along with others and make plans for the future. However, it doesn’t help us manage our “I”.
Neuroscientific research has shown that the only way to change your feelings is to become aware of your inner feelings and learn to make friends with what is happening inside you.
It is better to do this with the support of a specialist, such as a psychotherapist, who has education and experience in working with trauma.
