Resilient means something that has the ability to bend but not break and return to its previous form or state.
When it comes to people, resilience is a quality that helps to cope with challenges, return to normal and continue living a full life. Returning to normal is about a choice, so it is important to understand that the ease of making this choice is different for everyone. We should try to develop our resilience to get out of the grip of crisis and try to become the best version of ourselves.
6 factors of resilience.
Be optimistic. Optimism is an attitude of hope and confidence that everything will turn out well. Being a resilient optimist does not mean ignoring life problems – it means looking for the positive aspects, seeing the meaning and content of your life, focusing on the pleasures and “triggering” positive thoughts.
Confront fear. The feeling of fear is quite natural. It is important to understand what causes fear, and then learn and practice the skills necessary to overcome it. For many people, it is easier to face fear when there are other people around, those who they know and trust. To overcome fear, you need to face it – this is what resilient people do.
Feel own value. Everyone has their own value from birth. Understanding and reminding yourself of your values will reduce the perception of threat and help you understand what is worth fighting for. If a person has strong values, he or she will make it through.
Nurture relationships. Strong social connections reduce the incidence of physical and mental health problems. Receiving and giving support is a process, not a single event. When a person feels supported by family, friends, and colleagues, he or she feels more confident, has better self-control, and perceives stressful situations as manageable. Almost no one who is resilient walks alone in this world, so you shouldn’t either!
Be cognitively flexible. Resilient people are usually flexible in the way they think about difficulties, how they think positively about life’s challenges, and how they regulate emotions. Pete Kerner wrote: “Life = change. If you are changing in some way, why not change for the better? You can change for better or for worse, you have no other choice; you can’t stay in the same place forever”.
To feel the meaning and purpose of life. Frederick Nietzsche once wrote about the power of meaning: “He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW”. Viktor Frankl recommended looking for meaning not by asking “What is the meaning of my life?” but by asking “What does life demand of me?”. What matters is not “what I can expect from life”, but “what life expects from me”.
No one knows how we came to this particular place, at this particular time in history. Nor did we choose our parents. And yet we are here and now, with a unique set of experiences, knowledge, and skills. Therefore, it is important to focus on what I am doing now, with what I already have. And perhaps it would be right to say to each of us today: “I’m doing the best I can with what I have”.
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Recommended reading: Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges by Steven M. Southwick and Dennis S. Charney, 2022
