Throughout life, everyone faces losses. Many people think of loss only as death, but in reality, this concept is much broader.
Losses can be different:
✅ social (loss of work or education);
✅ mental and physical (loss of abilities and opportunities)
✅spiritual (disillusionment with faith);
✅ material (e.g. loss of home);
✅psychological (loss of physical attractiveness, youth);
✅Loss of a loved one (divorce, death).
Sometimes one person can experience several losses at the same time. This is not easy, because any loss is always accompanied by psychological experiences. However, the most tragic events in a person’s life are always associated with the loss of a loved one.
Psychoanalyst Erich Lindemann coined the expression “grief work”. Grief is a reaction to
the loss of a significant object, which involves emotional pain, sadness, anger, helplessness, guilt, and despair. The function of grief is to allow a person to come to terms with the loss and adapt to it.
In her book “On Death and Dying”, psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described 5 stages of grief:
– denial;
– anger;
– bargaining;
– depression;
– acceptance.
However, everyone goes through these stages in his or her own way. Some people go through them longer, someone – faster and in different sequences. Sometimes people may return to the stage they thought they had already passed. The important point is that the experience of bereavement should not be experienced alone. The support of family, friends, and society is essential in grieving.
🙌 What can support a person going through grief?
📍1. Unconditional acceptance of their reactions and experiences (tears, crying, anger, or other reactions).
📍2. Assistance in organising farewell rituals.
📍3. Listening, talking through the person’s sadness and pain.
📍4. Condolences should be expressed in an appropriate form, without long speeches. It is enough to say that you are sincerely sorry.
📍5. Do not share the story of grief on social media without the person’s permission.
📍6. If a loved one was killed, you can organise evenings of remembrance, recalling the bright moments of his / her life.
📍7. Advise to consult a specialist.
What should and should not be said:
You should say: “My condolences”, “I’m sorry it happened”, “I love you”, “If I were you, I might feel the same way”, “I’m with you”.
Never say: “Oh, don’t worry that much”, “You’ll find someone else”, “You’ll have another child”, “Time heals”, “You have to be strong”, “I understand how it hurts”.
👫It is important to acknowledge that consultations with a psychologist are very important, as is the support of from family and friends.
