Author: Daniil

What is the nature of your anxiety? Does it follow you always and everywhere, wherever you go? It is cold and sharp, or it becomes so overwhelming that it is difficult to get out of it? Does it completely take over your mind, emotions, and body sensations?

Anxiety is so cruel and uncomfortable that most people who live with it simply dream of getting rid of it, of throwing it out of their lives.

That’s the nature of anxiety: it traps you and makes you focus on it rather than on anything else.

But when you look at anxiety differently, you can change it and the way you approach it. For example:

• Anxiety is just a “tail”, an annoying little brother, which means that I lead, and it follows me, not the other way round.
• Since I’m the leader, I decide where I’m going, what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, and how I’m feeling. Even when the anxiety gets too big, it still doesn’t block my way out. I can move forward in spite of it.

Anxiety is rooted in fear, and fear makes us feel like a taut spring. Anxiety tells us what is dangerous, and fear always prepares us for problems. This excessive alertness prevents us from seeing reality clearly and narrows our perception of ourselves and the situations we face on a daily basis. We are constantly waiting for the problems that our anxiety has “sketched” for us – and this leads to exhaustion of the nervous system, and therefore the brain needs breaks.

One of the most important things you can do to stop anxiety is to take care of your brain. Taking regular short breaks throughout the day will go a long way towards improving your life and making your day as pleasant as possible. Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. When you notice that your anxiety is growing, negative thoughts and strong emotions appear, your brain is asking you for a break.

Stop what you were doing, get up, take a walk. Do something that will calm your mind and the reactions in it that cause anxiety, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Here are some options to switch gears:

Breathe in and out slowly and deeply several times.

Bring yourself into awareness and focus all your senses on the present moment.  

Notice your surroundings, but do not evaluate them. Focus on your surroundings, not on disturbing thoughts and emotions.

Read a few pages of a book.

Draw or colour something.

Take a break from computer and phone screens.

Give your brain a short rest during the day and you will notice how anxiety reduces.

Think about the following question – it can help you replace anxious thoughts with better ones: What will be running through your head instead of anxious thoughts? What will your life be like when your anxiety disappears, and your thoughts become calm and happy?

Write down the answers to the following questions in a notebook:

When you are not thinking about anxious things, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

What would occupy your thoughts if your anxiety were not so strong?

What could you do differently if your anxiety didn’t get in the way?

If you answer these questions thoughtfully, you will be able to set a goal for yourself and understand what you want to see in the place of anxiety.

Create good moments in your day. If you’re ploughing through the day like a tractor and dragging anxiety along with you, it’s exhausting. Our days are just our days that do not belong to anxiety. We have the power to create good moments in our days!

What will your life be like when anxiety is no longer a problem? It may be hard for you to answer, but you are not alone.

The fact is that anxiety takes over the human brain. Take away what is yours, imagine a life without anxiety – this way you will begin to take control of your thoughts, feelings and actions again.  When you allow yourself to think about and describe your life without anxiety, you will change the scale of your thoughts, your life will unfold, and your fears will gradually disappear as you make the unknown future known. First of all, try to answer the question: “What will life be like when anxiety is no longer a problem?”

The answer to this question is a process of self-discovery, which can be difficult to start.

If you take the time to explore and formulate your values, you will be able to understand what you want from life. This will give your life a new direction that has nothing to do with what you don’t want. A step you can take now.

Your values include self-esteem.

Finish these sentences: I am… (what?).

I am good at…

In my relationships, work and communication with others, I give…

I am valuable because…

Imagine what a wonderful life you would live if anxiety did not weigh you down. Describe yourself in that life.

Adolescence itself is a psycho-emotionally difficult crisis phenomenon. Hormonal waves against dramatic changes in social status (along with rights and freedoms, a person gets a set of responsibilities for one’s life and choices) naturally cause a high level of anxiety, as these are uncharted territories, and there is no experience of living an adult life. This is the period when young people seem to have one foot in childhood and the other in adulthood. And such a “twine” is very uncomfortable, and often scary and painful. If this is compounded by a lack of healthy coping skills, it can be too difficult for teenagers to cope with the difficulties of their age: rejection, mistakes, breakdowns in relationships, problems in school or family.  

In this case, for example, when a romantic relationship breaks up, instead of saying “You will have many more crushes in your life”, you should say: “It seems that this is a strong feeling, one that you have never experienced before. I’m here if you want to talk”. If there are problems with communication, instead of saying “It’s okay, you’ll find other friends”, you can say “It happens that we lose people we love. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you right now”.

It is difficult to be a perfect parent. We all have our own baggage of colourful life experiences that influence the way we build relationships. The experience of past generations has given us a legacy of prioritising physical health (feeding, clothing) and education (providing sufficient academic knowledge) in raising a child. And historically, preventive care for mental health has been left to the discretion of parents, who often simply do not know how to do it properly, precisely because they were not taught how to do it either.  

Teenagers often behave defiantly. This is an opportunity for them to finally be heard. As if this is the only way left to communicate, or rather shout about the scale and depth of their pain. Indeed, teenagers, immersed in their “cocoon” from which they must emerge after undergoing a radical transformation, often become more withdrawn, less open and less likely to talk and share their experiences. And it is easy to misinterpret this behaviour as a lack of need for close communication. 

However, what they need most at this very moment is the feeling that they are loved, valued, understood and accepted, and that they are ready to be supported and cared for when they need it. 

If this feeling is not there, depression can develop, among other things. Depression is one of the main factors leading to the development of suicidal behaviour in young people. According to research, about one-third of youth suicide victims suffered from clinical depression or other mental disorders. Other immediate risk factors include substance abuse, physiological changes associated with adolescence, or long-term illness.  

Warning signs include 

– verbal or written (social media) messages directly about suicide. For example, “I will not cause anyone any more problems”, “I will end this life”; 

– alcohol or drug use; 

– feelings of helplessness and hopelessness about a situation;

– manifestations of risky or self-destructive behaviour. 

Manifestations that are generally typical of adolescence can be added here, such as reduced levels of communication (socialisation) and an increased desire to be alone; significant mood swings; changes in the usual life rhythm, including eating and sleeping patterns. 

What should parents do proactively to prevent accidents and keep their kids safe? Talk about mental health and suicide, ask what’s going on with your child if you notice sadness, anxiety, apathy, etc. Attentive listening and offering to help can also help. It is important to pay attention to both the child’s words and behaviours, to encourage the child to lead a healthy lifestyle (especially by example), to spend time with family or friends.

The idea that it will be easier not to encounter this new, unknown and frightening adult life at all is quite common among teenagers. They may remain in thoughts or fantasies about how their families will grieve if something happens to them. If there are one or more concomitant risk factors and no timely help, such thoughts can unfortunately turn into actions. 

In addition to mental health disorders per se, factors that increase the risk of suicide in children include certain life circumstances, such as adoption; loss of friends or family members or problematic relations with them; family history of mental disorders, suicide or actions that could lead to suicide; experience of physical or sexual violence, psycho-emotional abuse or bullying; access to means of committing suicide, such as weapons or medications.  

It is important to remember that adolescents’ perceptions of adulthood may be different, disturbing and frightening. Moreover, they may not really realise that suicide is a permanent reaction rather than a solution to short-term difficulties. This is why it is so important to talk to your kids about suicide, to show them that you are there for them and to reassure them that together you can overcome any difficulties.    

If parents suspect that their child is suicidal, they should talk to him or her about it immediately, without fear that these conversations may reinforce suicidal ideation. It is also worth asking about the child’s feelings, not devaluing the difficulties the child is facing; listening carefully and reassuring the child of your love. And, of course, seek professional help from a psychiatrist or psychologist.

It is important for adults to understand that there are no halftones in the inner world of a teenager – his or her worldview is sharp, and emotions are at their peak. Teenagers are  “rocked and rolled” like a small boat in a stormy ocean. The most important thing that such a boat needs is to moor to a larger ship or shore, to lean on someone or something that is stable and reliable. 

And the most important thing you should not do with any teenager’s feelings is NOT to devalue them and NOT to ban them. Instead, it is critical to show that you understand what is going on.

Stress is an integral part of life, a natural by-product of any human activity. In moderate doses, “stress adds flavour and aroma to life”, as noted by Hans Selye, the discoverer of this phenomenon. But only in moderate doses… Frequent or prolonged exposure to stress leads to nervous exhaustion, headaches, insomnia, and sometimes much more serious illnesses.

Some people are naturally stress-resistant and react more calmly to emerging problems. However, it is not so much important to avoid tension, anxiety, fear, and anger as it is to quickly get out of the self-destructive states that accompany stress. And this is something that you can learn. “Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it’s at the end of your arm”, the famous British actress, Audrey Hepburn, once said.

So, here are some fairly simple self-help techniques that will help you to cope with difficult situations of today.

Sleep. It is not for nothing that they say that if a problem suddenly hits you, you need to sleep through it. If possible, you should wait until tomorrow and then start reacting. “Morning is always wiser than evening”, says the Ukrainian proverb. What seemed to be a dead end yesterday may not seem so hopeless with a fresh head. By the way, sometimes even a short daytime nap is a good way to solve a problem.

Warm bath or shower. If you feel that you are “losing your temper” and cannot respond adequately to the situation, find an opportunity to stand in the shower or lie in the bathtub – a positive effect on the nervous system will be ensured.

Food. When feeling bad, many people have the need to eat something. And it’s not for nothing. Delicious food reduces the intensity of mental pain. A light snack can really calm you down a bit and give you the strength to make a more informed decision. However, you should be careful with this method and not make it the only way to help yourself (to avoid problems with overweight and related problems).

Television. In a stressful situation, find something interesting to watch and try to forget about what happened. Music, theatre, the internet, going to the cinema, etc. will also help to relieve excess tension. This will contribute to relaxation and further constructive problem solving.

Shopping or simply window shopping. This technique is more commonly used by women, although it can be successfully recommended to men. Looking at the windows, choosing new clothes and gifts for yourself or a loved one distracts and calms you down, and the stressful situation no longer seems so global and insurmountable.

Walking. During the walk, you have the opportunity to communicate with nature, be alone with yourself, your thoughts, rethink what is worrying you and find ways to solve the problem. In addition, the load on muscles helps relieve the nervous system, which has a positive effect on the reaction in a stressful situation.

General cleaning. You can do this literally and figuratively. You can do a general cleaning in your apartment, change something in everyday routine, rearrange furniture, throw something away, give something away, take unnecessary things out, buy new things, etc. Tidying up in the figurative sense involves trying to organise your day better, abandoning planned but unnecessary things, switching to something really important, finding the necessary resources to achieve your goal.

Talking to a real friend, a person you trust. It’s always bad to be alone with a problem, because negative emotions amplify when you don’t talk about them. With people you trust, it is easy to see your problem from the outside. A friendly conversation will provide the support you need, strengthen your self-confidence, and give you hope and strength to solve the problem.

If your loved one is not around, you can call or email them. There are times when there is no way to contact the person you want to hear from. So, you can… just make up a conversation or write a few paragraphs that no one will ever read except you. Even such unsent letters become a kind of self-help in difficult life circumstances. A diary has a similar function.

Many people nowadays end up in confusion and uncertainty, when their plans, dreams and expectations cannot be realised, or when it is impossible to control the course of events. This is life, and we need to recognise that not everything depends on us.

The situation of chronic stress associated with the need to adapt to uncertain living conditions tests the psyche, but everyone has their own threshold of sensitivity, endurance, and emotional stability. The ability to withstand powerful stimuli depends on many factors, both internal (type of nervous system, experiences, genetic factors, physical health, motivation, values, meanings) and external (social support, availability of work, family, involvement in public life, community support). And if there are many “holes” in our “window of tolerance”, this makes us more vulnerable to various environmental factors, causing strong stress reactions.

Depression is a widespread disease. According to the World Health Organisation, more than 264 million people worldwide suffer from depression, which is the leading cause of loss of working ability. About 7% of adults have experienced at least one episode of depression, but the highest prevalence is among adolescents and people aged 18-25 (13%).

Many people associate depression with a low mood. However, if you wake up in the morning, take a shower, make yourself a coffee, get ready and go to work, and do various things, you cannot be depressed! You are just in a low mood. Remember what events, people, thoughts caused it and try to self-regulate to make life easier. And if you succeed and return home in a normal state, this means that you were just in a bad or low mood, short-lived, which you were able to regulate.

You shouldn’t make a medical diagnosis for yourself, because depression is a serious mental health condition, while its symptoms have clear manifestations prescribed in the International Classification of Diseases. And only a psychiatrist can diagnose this disorder.

Depression is sometimes called the “lady in black” because with this disorder, bright colours seem to disappear from life – people simply do not notice them, nor react in any way. Depression is manifested in the appearance, in the choice of clothes, which become grey, black, invisible. People stop taking care of themselves, of how they look or what they are wearing.

“I don’t care”, “Nothing good will ever happen”, “I’m a failure” – these are the words often articulated by people with depression. And whenever we see or hear something like this, it is important not to be indifferent, because depression has negative consequences: it is accompanied by suicidal thoughts and intentions, because a person feels unbearable internal pain that he or she wants to stop.

To understand whether a person has depression, it is important to notice any of the following manifestations

• depressed mood for most of the day;
• decreased interest in enjoyment in almost all activities: loss of interest in what used to be fun, no activities or achievements bring joy;
• significant weight loss or gain without special nutrition or diets;
• psychomotor agitation or lethargy – a person either becomes too fussy or has slower movements and speech;
• insomnia or drowsiness – problems with falling asleep, sleep is shallow and does not bring a sense of rest;
• feeling of constant fatigue, loss of energy;
• decreased ability to think, make decisions; thoughts are constantly focused on negative facts that distract from usual activities;
• feelings of self-worth, guilt towards loved ones;
• recurrent thoughts of death (suicidal thoughts).

These symptoms must be present for at least two weeks for a psychiatrist to diagnose depression.

Psychotherapy is used for mild and moderate forms of depression (as determined by a doctor), while severe depression requires a combination of psychotherapy and medication, antidepressants, which can be prescribed only by a doctor. Such treatment will speed up recovery and bring colour back into life.

Jeff Foster said: “There is no shame in depression. It is an ancient invitation to rest”. Carl Jung noted: “Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say”.

Usually, the emergence of depression symptoms can be a cry for rest, restoration of normal work and rest regime. So don’t be indifferent to yourself, be attentive to your physical and mental reactions. Sometimes you just need to stop and see the natural antidepressants around you – the forest, green leaves, flowers, the river; hear birds singing and children laughing; smell the fresh grass and aromatic coffee – to help you restore your resources and feel better.

Just like all children, children with special educational needs (SEN) children, should study and receive appropriate psychological and pedagogical services in educational institutions.

It is important for educators to understand that the level of information processing in children with SEN and the speed of their reactions may be different, in particular due to their educational difficulties. Children with SEN may not understand the meaning of events, find it difficult to perceive information about their circumstances, especially if these circumstances are changing rapidly. However, children always feel and react to the emotional component of the situation.

Advice for teachers in working with children with SEN:

• systematically and consciously conduct training for the child (also establishing cause-and-effect relationships): how to act during an emergency, explain why this is happening; why it is important to prepare; how to behave; why it is important not to be afraid, but to do what they have learned during training;
• talk to the child about his or her fears and worries: it is normal to be afraid in such a situation; I am with you; I am here for you; I will always help you;
• understand that when the child with SEN displays challenging behaviour, it is a signal to an adult that he or she needs attention, care and understanding;
• conduct psychological activities and games in the classroom. The game protects the child from a difficult to understand reality and at the same time provides space for living and mastering reality.

When teaching children with SEN, it is important for teachers to provide children with:

• differentiation – taking into account the child’s capabilities and strengths;
• individual approach – taking into account the child’s individual characteristics and the presence of a certain type of educational difficulties;
• flexibility – teaching a child at a convenient pace, taking into account adaptations / modifications of the educational process.

Teachers should pay attention to certain signs and symptoms that children may experience after a crisis, for example:

• powerlessness and passivity, lack of normal emotional reactions;
• increased excitability and lack of concentration / focus;
• inattention; nightmares and other sleep disorders;
• anger, fear of separation and clinging to a loved one;
• regressive symptoms (nocturnal enuresis, loss of speech, motor skills);

If these symptoms or conditions are frequent and disturb parents / educators, a comprehensive psychological and pedagogical assessment of the child’s development should be carried out to determine the causes symptoms and provide adequate assistance. This assessment is done by specialists from inclusive resource centres.

In Ukraine, people can apply to an inclusive resource centre online using the inclusive education portal https://ircenter.gov.ua/ .

As part of the “Station: Me” project, implemented by the CPH “Confidence” with the support of the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) and financial support from the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), teachers can join the programme for professionals “Providing theoretical and practical knowledge to develop skills and abilities of specialists working with children with special educational needs”.

A codependent relationship in psychology is a pattern of interaction in which one person becomes overly dependent on another, often with sacrificial and avoidant behavioural traits.The term was first introduced into psychology in the context of working with alcoholism and other addictions, but over time, its use has expanded to include different types of relationships.

In a codependent relationship, there is usually an inequality of power and control between the partners. The codependent person often focuses on the other person’s emotions, needs, and problems, forgetting about his or her own. This can lead to a sense of obligation to take care of the other person to the point that it becomes unfulfilling for both.

Codependency can arise from a variety of factors, including family dynamics, childhood trauma, low self-esteem, and the like. Therapy and counselling can help a codependent person to become aware of these patterns and develop healthier ways of interacting in relationships.

Anxiety can play a significant role in the development of codependent relationships. Codependency is a pathological psychological phenomenon in which one person is highly dependent on another, often sacrificing own needs and interests to meet the needs and desires of the other person. Codependent relationships can contribute to the development of anxiety.

1. Excessive care and worry.
   Codependents often show excessive concern for their partner or other people, sometimes to the point where it can cause constant worry and anxiety about their well-being and their own role in it.
2. Denial of own needs.
   Codependents deny their own needs in order to meet the needs of others. This can cause anxiety, as they may feel that they are not being cared for and taken care of.
3. Low self-esteem.
   People in codependent relationships often suffer from low self-esteem and self-doubt. These feelings can lead to anxious thoughts and feelings of unappreciated worth.
4. Dependence on other people’s opinions.
   Codependents may depend on the approval of others to maintain their self-esteem and reduce anxiety. This can be a never-ending cycle of anxiety as they constantly evaluate themselves through the lens of others’ opinions.
5. Fear of losing relationships.
   Codependents are often afraid of losing a relationship, even the one that is not healthy or satisfactory enough. This fear can support anxious thoughts and behaviours.
6. Belief system and personality structure.
   Codependents often have specific belief systems and personality structures that contribute to anxiety, such as perfectionism and fears of rejection.

Anxiety in a codependent relationship can be a complex process and often requires psychological help. Therapy can help codependent people understand the causes of anxiety, develop healthy coping strategies, and break destructive patterns in their relationships

The concept of anxiety has recently become an integral part of our lives, as the situation of uncertainty in which we live creates expectation of something unpleasant that may occur in the future. R. May and other academics have written that anxiety is the central problem of modern civilisation and the most important characteristic of our time: “the twentieth century is the century of anxiety”, although the beginning of the twenty-first century does not change much. Constant socio-political and economic changes generate uncertainty and, as a result, emotional tension, anxiety and worry.

Р. Lazarus defined anxiety as unresolved fear that leads to a pervasive sense of danger. People often confuse states of anxiety and fear, and a psychologist should explain that fear is always specific (we are always afraid of something definite – darkness, death, illness, animals, etc.), and anxiety is always vague (we often do not know why we are anxious, we just feel a state of restlessness, excitement, expectation of something bad). Often, a person cannot even explain what exactly is disturbing him or her, but this state gives rise to a lot of troubling thoughts and prevents a person from functioning normally “here and now”.

Charles Spielberg distinguished two types of anxiety:

1. “anxiety-state” is a short-term emotional reaction associated with the activation of the autonomic nervous system;
2. “anxiety-trait” is a predisposition to an anxiety reaction that occurs over a long period of time and is formed as a character trait under the influence of upbringing. Anxiety is only caused by situations that are personally significant for the subject and meet his or her actual needs.

It is necessary to distinguish unease from anxiety; if unease is an episodic manifestation of concern, strong excitement, then anxiety is a stable state. Anxiety is not associated with a specific situation, it manifests itself constantly, accompanying a person in various activities. A person with severe anxiety has a tendency to view the world around them as dangerous and threatening.

When studying causes of anxiety and the factors that influence its level, researchers have found that anxiety is linked to family characteristics and family upbringing, school performance, relationships with teachers and peers, stressful situations, etc.

At the physiological level, the anxiety reaction manifests itself as an increase in heart rate; rapid and shallow breathing; increased blood circulation; increased blood pressure; increased general excitability; and decreased sensitivity thresholds, when previously neutral stimuli acquire a negative emotional colouring.

Anxiety as a signal of danger draws attention to possible difficulties and obstacles to achieving the goal, allows a person to mobilise own strengths and thereby achieve the best result. Therefore, a normal (optimal) level of anxiety is perceived as necessary to effectively adjust to reality (adaptive anxiety).

A certain level of anxiety is a natural and necessary characteristic of an active personality. Each person has his or her own optimal or desirable level of anxiety – this is the so-called useful anxiety. An excessively high anxiety is perceived as a maladaptive reaction, which manifests itself in the general disorganisation of behaviour and activities. Individuals belonging to this category tend to see a wide range of situations as a threat to their self-esteem and life. They react to such situations with a pronounced state of tension. The study of anxiety problems also considers the complete absence of anxiety as a phenomenon that interferes with normal adaptation, as well as persistent anxiety that interferes with normal development and productive activity.

The state of anxiety is an emotional state that has a range of manifestations, and our ability to measure the intensity of anxiety (using the Emotion Thermometer technique) is important here.

Anxiety is a state in which different manifestations replace each other as they increase, so we can distinguish six levels of anxiety.

The first level is the lowest intensity of anxiety. It manifests itself in certain tension, alertness, discomfort, which mobilises the body’s defences to cope with a stressful situation. This level of anxiety has the greatest adaptive value, so it is important to be able to stop here, to develop stabilisation skills and prevent anxiety from developing into more intense manifestations.

At the second level, feelings of internal tension are replaced by hyperesthetic reactions. Previously neutral stimuli become significant, and with increased anxiety, they take on a negative emotional colouring.

The third level is anxiety itself, which manifests in the feeling of an uncertain threat, a vague danger.

The fourth level is fear. It emerges when anxiety increases and is manifested in the objectification and concretisation of an uncertain danger. At the same time, the object with which fear is associated does not necessarily reflect the real cause of anxiety and is not really threatening.

The fifth level is a sense of the inevitability of an impending catastrophe, which arises as a result of a gradual increase in anxiety and manifests itself in a feeling of horror. In this case, this experience is not related to the content of the feeling, but only to the increase in anxiety. Such an experience can cause vague but very strong anxiety.

The highest level of tension is anxious and fearful arousal, which manifests itself in the need for motor discharge and panic-stricken search for help. The anxiety-induced disorganisation of behaviour and activities reaches its maximum. This condition is extremely dangerous, and a person needs external support and help.

What can we do to prevent the newly emerging unease from escalating into anxiety, fear, arousal, panic?

First of all, when initial anxiety unfolds at the bodily level, we can help ourselves in the following ways

• use deep breathing or square breathing, which will help you calm the nervous system and ease our “panic button”;
• drink water, wash your face, put a water bottle on the back of your neck, which will allow you to regain control over your own body and ease the “panic button”;
• sit or lie down so that your back gets support, “ground yourself”;
• look around, bring your thoughts back to “here and now”:

1. find and name five objects that can be touched;
2. find and name four objects of the same colour;
3. listen and name three sounds you can hear right now;
4. name two smells that you can detect;
5. try to name one taste that you are currently experiencing.

After you return to “here and now”, you can recall your anxious thoughts and analyse them:

Step 1: Ask yourself: “What am I worrying about right now?”

Step 2: “Is this problem real and can I do something about it?”

Step 3: If you answered “No” in Step 2, let go of your worries and switch to something more useful.

Step 4: If you answered “Yes” in Step 2, make a plan to solve the problem.

Step 5: Ask yourself: “Is there anything I can do right now to implement my plan?”

Step 6: If you answered “Yes” in Step 5, do what you can right now and let go of your worries, turning your attention to something more useful.

Step 7: If you answered “No” in Step 5, schedule a time when you can set this plan in motion and think about how you will implement it. And then let go of the worry and switch to something more useful.

So, there are no bad or good emotional states; we need them all to live our lives, because it is like the sea – it cannot be calm all the time, waves roll in, tsunamis happen. In our life, there are different events, different people and all kinds of situations, and sometimes we cannot control this process, but we can learn to surf these waves, knowing that anxiety is a state, and it will inevitably go away. You just need to help yourself!

In psychology, anxiety is an emotional state characterised by feelings of unease, tension and worry. It is a perfectly normal emotion that can occur in response to stressors, dangers, or uncertain situations. Here are some important aspects of anxiety in psychology:

1. Physiological manifestations: increased heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle tension and the release of stress hormones.
2. Cognitive aspects: troubled thoughts, disturbing fantasies and worries. People may begin to assume the worst outcome of events.
3. Evolutionary role: in evolutionary terms, anxiety was important as a vigilance mechanism that helped survival by warning of dangers and mobilising for defence.
4. Individual differences: anxiety levels can vary from person to person. Some people are more prone to anxiety, while others are more resistant to stress.
5. Pathological anxiety: when anxiety becomes excessive, prolonged and interferes with normal life, it can be considered pathological, requiring psychological help and treatment.
6. Ways of managing anxiety: meditation, relaxation, psychoanalytic therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and medicinal treatment.

Anxiety can have both positive and negative aspects. It can help a person to be careful and mobilises when one needs to. But when it is excessive, it can affect mental and physical health. Effective anxiety management can help improve quality of life and mental well-being.

Anxiety can play a significant role in the development of codependent relationships. Codependency is a pathological psychological phenomenon in which one person is highly dependent on another, often sacrificing own needs and interests to meet the needs and desires of the other person. Anxiety can increase this dependence for several reasons:

1. Worry about the other person’s opinion. People who are prone to codependency may experience anxiety about what the other persons think of them, trying to please them, even if it is to their detriment.
2. Fear of loss. Anxiety can arise from the fear of losing the relationship with the person on whom the person is codependent. This fear can lead to excessive efforts to maintain the relationship.
3. Lack of boundaries. Codependency is often associated with a lack of healthy boundaries in relationships. Anxious thoughts can lead to a codependent person willing to compromise and not defend own boundaries.
4. Constant tension. Frequent anxiety can cause constant tension and stress in a relationship, which increases codependency. To overcome codependent relationships, it is important to become aware of one’s own anxious thoughts and work on developing healthy self-esteem and boundaries in your relationship. It is also helpful to see a psychologist or therapist for professional support.

Recently, speech therapists have been increasingly recommending music therapy for speech disorders, including stuttering, dyslexia, emotionless speech, when a child does not finish words/sentences or speaks very quietly.

Let’s try to find out how it works.

1. The fact is that a music therapist works not only with breathing and diction (because in some cases this is not enough), but also with the body and rhythm.
2. Speech as the highest mental function is formed last. And it is during the music therapy that the therapist has the opportunity to explore and fill in gaps, if any, that have arisen in the child’s development.
3. When a person interacts with music – whether it is playing musical instruments or receptive listening to music – the work of the emotional sphere is enhanced, which also affects speech.
4. In the process of music therapy, neural connections are formed in the brain, helping to acquire new or restore lost functions – both motor and speech.
5. The combination of music and speech improves auditory attention and ear-articulation coordination.

FAQs and answers are as follows:

– Do they teach you to play musical instruments in music therapy? – No!

– Do I need to have a musical education to come to music therapy? – No!

– Do I need to know anything about music? – No!

– Can I work online? – Yes!

In summary, music therapy is a unique auxiliary method for working with speech disorders.

During the session, the therapist creates an atmosphere in which the child can reveal own capabilities, and this provides the necessary resource to “move forward”. The child’s range of actions will gradually expand, and this will happen not because the therapist wants it to, but because EVERYTHING the child does is a priori right. This forms a child’s strategy for success, reduces anxiety, creates a trusting space in which there may be a desire to try something new – a movement, an instrument, a behavioural strategy… Using various techniques, the therapist enables the child to become visible and heard. Music is non-verbal; it can be used to “express” anger, surprise and joy, and it gives an incredible feeling that “I AM UNDERSTOOD”!

There is another form of work in a triad. One of the parents attends these sessions with the child. The peculiarity is that mom or dad become ACTIVE participants in the process, and the therapist is a guide whose task is to “return mom / dad to the child”. 

It may sound strange, but due to numerous special needs, parents often “do not see” their child. This happens because they perform the function of “specialists” who have to work at home on the development, education, and homework from real specialists who work with the child. And behind this carousel of tasks, they lose such a significant role as “mom” or “dad”. After all, parental love is unconditional, accepting, allowing children to BE!  This does not mean that you do not need to work with your child; it means that you need to have a measure in everything, to look for a balance.

Quite often, parents of children with special educational needs hear what their child CANNOT do, but so rarely do they hear about what they CAN do and DOES! As a result, parents gradually acquire a “medical” vision of their child, where they first see the diagnosis / problems, and then the child. 

When working in the triad, the therapist returns the “social” vision, where parents see the CHILD FIRST, and then the diagnosis / problems. In these sessions, parents learn to see what their child CAN do and what successes he or she is achieving. Because it is here that a space is created where they can see and hear their child: find the opportunity to interact, communicate when there is no speech; dance when there is no movement; play when there is no long-term contact, and appreciate the MOST IMPORTANT thing that parents and children should have – the SATISFACTION OF THE TIME SPENT TOGETHER!

Amidst significant political, social, economic and cultural changes, the number of stressful and psychotraumatic factors that affect professional and life activities, human well-being and health is steadily increasing. 

The profession of a teacher is one of the stress-resistant professions and implies the ability to successfully carry out the necessary activities in difficult conditions. In his or her work, a teacher is systematically exposed to psycho-emotional influences associated with excessive demands, a high level of control, limited resources for changing and improving them [1; 19]. Daily contact with other subjects and constant need to address various professional tasks requires significant emotional and energy costs from the teacher, mobilisation of physical and psychological resources, endurance, speed of response in performing professional duties, and stress resistance. 

Academics do not have a common understanding of “stress resistance” and the ways to study it. Some authors associate it with emotional stability [2, 7; 8]. Others focus on coping strategies, performance, physiological characteristics, and self-regulation capabilities. Based on psychological research, it has been found that stress resistance is a complex dynamic characteristic that determines a person’s ability to withstand stressful influences or cope with many stressful situations, actively transforming them or adapting to them, maintaining not only the integrity of the body and personality in a stressful situation, but also the required quality of professional tasks (V. Bodrov). [7; 8]. This integrative property involves the interaction of intellectual, emotional, volitional and motivational components of mental activity and ensures the successful achievement of the goal of activity in a difficult emotional situation (P. G. Zilberman) [12; 13]. 

Stress resistance as a property of the psyche reflects the person’s ability to successfully perform the necessary activities (vital activity) in stressful situations. It involves interaction with all structural characteristics of the psyche both during and after exposure to stressors. Its functions include focus on overcoming obstacles; actualisation of activities in extreme conditions; stabilisation of internal mechanisms of emotional and volitional self-regulation; ensuring the ability to constantly reproduce a high level of professional motivation.

Structural components of stress resistance include cognitive component (skills and abilities to overcome stressful situations, ability to set goals and plan their achievement, autopsychological competence); socio-emotional component (emotional and neuropsychological balance); behavioural component (assertive behaviour, tolerance, communication and interpersonal skills, activity, self-development and self-knowledge). The cognitive component involves understanding the causes of stress, comprehending the pedagogical situation and incorporating its image into the teacher’s holistic view of himself/herself, the environment and relationships with it; searching for and evaluating possible means of overcoming stress; searching for constructive coping strategies, seeking self-reinforcement and support. The socio-emotional component involves the teacher’s awareness and acceptance of his or her feelings and emotions, needs and desires, mastering socially acceptable forms of feeling, controlling the dynamics of experience, eliminating “stuckness”; changing the orientation of the personality, adjusting life values or priorities, expanding the space of social roles, positions and interpersonal relationships, etc. The behavioural component involves restructuring the teacher’s behaviour, adjusting coping strategies and plans, tasks and modes of activity, activating or deactivating the teacher’s behaviour and professional activity [14].

Stress resistance as an integral characteristic of mental development is formed in the process of human ontogeny on the basis of genetically determined individual characteristics and repeated contact of the individual with stressors [5; 6; 10; 15]. This contact involves assessing a stressful situation; regulating activities under stressful conditions; overcoming stress or coping behaviour; and processing traumatic experiences.

Stressors of professional activity are divided into general and specific (D. Fontan). General stressors include: 

• lack of a scientific approach to the organisation of activities, when the team works in the “fire brigade” mode;
• insufficient number of employees, which forces others to work in an exhausting mode;
• due to the large volume of work, it is performed poorly or its quality is ensured by excessive efforts;
• violation of the working time regime, when work is performed overtime;
• change in the rhythm of activity, which leads to the accumulation of fatigue, exhaustion, and psychological burnout;
• low status of the profession, low salary;
• insufficient career prospects;
• excessive organisation and formalism (a large number of meetings with few decisions made);
• “paper creativity” (a large number of plans and reports), etc. [19].

Specific professional stressors also deserve special attention, in particular those related to functional duties:
1) lack of regulation of functional duties, which puts a person in a difficult situation: in case of inaction, they are required to be active; in case of initiative, they are accused of abuse of power;
2) unrealistically high expectations regarding one’s own activities and the use of a categorical imperative (“I must in any case”); after completing a task, negative self-esteem and self-deprecation (“I failed, so I am a failure”); low frustration levels (“I can’t stand it”; 
3) the supervisor’s disregard for the subordinate’s opinions: the supervisor’s actions can cause stress to the subordinate, as they can affect his or her life morally and financially (higher or lower salary, bonus, career opportunities, endless critical remarks, etc;) 
4) peculiarities of horizontal interaction with colleagues can lead to stress in cases of psychological incompatibility, pronounced accentuation, different views on the strategy of the educational unit or the educational institution as a whole [19].

The highest level of stress is observed in people working in the “human-human” system [8; 11; 15], including teachers. The peculiarity of teacher’s activity (as well as many other human-human professions) is that in addition to professional knowledge and skills, the personality uses his/her own intellectual and emotional and volitional resources to a large extent. The teacher is the subject who develops, preserves and transmits the best national educational and upbringing traditions and experience to students from generation to generation [19]. Therefore, the contradictions between the growing requirements for the quality of professional and pedagogical activity are objectified by modern socio-economic realities (growth of information, complication of scientific and methodological work, socio-economic transformations, etc.) and psychophysiological, intellectual and emotional resources of the teacher’s personality, a wide range of professional functions, which increases the risk of professional stress and “professional burnout”. At the same time, the normal course of pedagogical activity is disrupted, and the relationship between all participants in the educational process is extremised. That is why professional stress becomes possible [17; 19].

The main reasons for stress in teachers are the peculiarities of pedagogical activity and the conditions for its implementation in educational institutions: significance of work and personal responsibility for the quality of education; time pressure; diversity of pedagogical activity; organisational shortcomings; low material reward for work. The diversity of tasks and professional problems often forces teachers to act in a new way in the face of a shortage of information and time, which can lead to stressful reactions such as loss of control over one’s state and behaviour. Changes in the education system bring new external stressors, including new state educational standards, changes in curricula, informatisation and technologisation of education, innovation processes, etc., which requires an active, conscious and flexible approach to professional tasks from the teacher. The emergence of stressful situations in the course of solving new tasks, the impact of a danger factor (or its threat) is accompanied by hasty decision-making, a decrease in the speed of information updating and other negative changes in the mental sphere.

Pedagogical activity involves intensive interpersonal interaction between all participants in the educational process, which is also a chronic stressor (V. Ababkov, M. Perre) [1; 6]. The need for active and often long-term communication with different actors in the educational process, in different social contexts, can lead to negative consequences. According to psychologists, prolonged stress associated with chronic exposure to negative factors (even if their intensity is low) affects the personality much more than strong but one-time stressors [1; 6]. 

Due to the specifics of profession, teachers’ stress is cumulative. They often do not have the opportunity to timely respond to stress, which results in its concentration and hides the danger of developing the last stage of stress – exhaustion and emotional burnout. I. Malkina-Pykh notes that even when the situation has returned to normal, the accumulated emotional stress may not weaken but disrupt the body’s systems. Repetition or long duration of affective reactions in connection with professional difficulties, emotional arousal can take on a stagnant stable form [16].

Stress in pedagogical activity has a prolonged character and is characterised by frequency, duration and repetition of the factor’s influence. The specificity of teaching involves the teacher’s work for a long time; the experiences associated with the profession do not stop with the end of the working day. According to psychologists, people who perform any complex work for a long time can stay in a stressful situation longer and experience greater exposure to stressors [16]. This can explain the manifestations of stress in teachers in various aspects: cognitive, emotional, behavioural and physical. 

In view of the above, we can conclude that teachers need certain personal qualities to effectively perform their professional duties: activity, initiative, high level of communication, etc. E. Romanova lists professional characteristics of a teacher related to his / her resistance to stress: communication skills, psychological and emotional stability, tolerance and non-judgemental attitude towards people, ability to change decisions in accordance with the environment [14]. 

Difficulties in studying the determinants and mechanisms of stress and stress resistance in the professional activity of a teacher are associated with assessing the specifics of the manifestation of teacher’s reactions to the action of psychological factors. This professional activity contains a specific system of sources of stressful conditions, which is due to the informational, pedagogical, cognitive and organisational nature of pedagogical activity, high intensity of interpersonal interaction with students, colleagues, and direct supervision

What is attachment?
Attachment is a unique and very specific form of bonding. It does not refer to all the feelings a child has for a caregiver or the feelings a caregiver has for a child. It is a bond that begins in infancy with the child’s biological predisposition to choose a primary caregiver to feel safe. An infant seeking attachments has a function of survival. It is this attachment that keeps the young child close to the caregiver and causes suffering when they get separated.

Attachment does not always mean a positive or healthy bond. Due to biological predisposition, infant attachment to caregivers develops in almost all circumstances. For this reason, babies with caregivers who are neglectful or abusive are just as likely to become attached to them as babies with warm and caring caregivers. In other words, all infants and young children seek safety and protection from their caregivers and become attached. Therefore, the quality of attachment is determined by caregiver’s accessibility and the way he or she responds to the child’s needs for safety and security. So, it is rarely a question of whether a child is attached or not, but rather what type of attachment has been formed.

What kinds of attachments can form?
The attachment relationships that children have with their caregivers are differentiated based on the extent to which adults provide the child with a sense of physical and emotional security. Therefore, there is a difference between securely and insecurely attached children. The security of attachment depends on:

1. the continuity of the relationship with the caregiver;
2. how sensitive and responsive the caregiver is to the child’s needs.

Young children become securely attached when their caregivers respond quickly and warmly to their distress, provide appropriate stimulation, treat them affectionately and positively, and are responsive to their needs and feelings. An insecure attachment develops when caregivers are intrusive, over-stimulating, punitive and controlling, or, conversely, unresponsive and uninvolved in the child’s life. To develop a secure attachment, a responsive caregiver must be available to the child at all times. Care that is unpredictable or inappropriate for the child’s needs will contribute to the development of insecure attachment.

Different types of attachment
A child’s early attachment to a caregiver is vital for the development of their understanding and expectations of relationships and social interactions outside of attachment. This understanding and set of expectations is referred to as the child’s “internal working model”. Securely attached children will develop a model in which they view themselves as worthy and loved and other people – as benevolent and predictable. This optimistic set of expectations usually leads to a pro-social orientation. On the other hand, insecurely attached children develop a sense of unworthiness and, based on their experience, expect others to reject them, be angry with them, or be rejected. This negative set of expectations can lead to anger and acting out or depression and withdrawal.

It is important to note that although early attachment formation plays a key role in later development, a young child’s internal working model is not completely fixed. The first years of life are particularly sensitive in terms of the model formation, but the experiences that follow can change what has already been formed. Positive interactions within the context of a stable and sensitive caregiving relationship can lead to insecure attachment becoming secure, and repeated disruptions to a positive caregiving relationship due to factors such as parental hospitalisation or discord can lead to secure attachment becoming insecure.

Attachment theory, with its emphasis on continuity of care and responsive care, strongly suggests that interruptions in care across multiple foster homes will have negative consequences for the development of selective attachment and internal working models. The attachment system of a child who has been in the foster care for a long time is likely to be organised in a constant expectation of rejection and loss. Such children, who still hope to be loved and cared for, may be deeply concerned about being rejected, abandoned or neglected. As a result, they may experience anger and behave in a way to draw attention. In other cases, repeated separation and loss can lead to a child developing a protective “shell”. When this happens, the shell can become so thick that the child may seem to no longer feel the loss. This immunity to loss comes at a cost: the relationship no longer matters to the child.

Implications for parents
It is important that foster parents are aware of the attachment’s central role in social and emotional development. Disruption of previous attachments or the lack of opportunities to form attachments may explain some of the characteristics of post-institutionalised children and children in foster care. The formation of attachment to adoptive parents will be encouraged by sensitive care and a period of time immediately after adoption when the child is mostly in the family environment. A focus on relationships outside the family may come later, when the child has had the opportunity to understand his or her relationship with the parents as unique.

If the child has ever had the opportunity to form an attachment to either a biological parent or a previous caregiver, the new parents must recognise that their child has already experienced a loss that has shaken his or her sense of security. If the previous attachment was secure, the child’s internal working model is likely to provide a positive basis for establishing a new attachment. If the previous attachment was insecure, the child’s loss is no less. Indeed, the child may need more patience and support to overcome the negative expectations associated with feeling insecure. Children who have experienced multiple losses may have great difficulty forming relationships. This may be because they are emotionally disconnected, or because they express deep anger and demand attention in inappropriate ways. Attachment theory explains this behaviour. Understanding these behaviours is not the same as knowing what to do about them; however, it can go a long way towards reducing feelings of confusion and inadequacy for the caregiver.

Supporting the development of secure attachment. Conclusion.
Although each child is unique, there are some general suggestions for how caregivers can support their child’s development of secure attachment.

1. Secure attachment develops through consistent and appropriate responses by caregivers to their children’s cues. Children who have been in foster care or institutional care may not give clear cues about their needs because of their history, so it can be very difficult for parents to “read” those needs. Children may not call out to you when they wake up, may not cry when they are scared or self-harming, may not tell you that they are hungry. In such cases, parents are advised to think about typical behaviour in certain situations and respond to their child based on this. For example, go to your child’s room when you expect him or her to wake up, greet and give a hug. When your child pushes you away or feels afraid, reassure him or her, even if the child doesn’t seem upset.
2. For some parenting decisions, it can be helpful to think of your child in terms of his or her emotional age rather than chronological age. For example, a three- or four-year-old child who has been in an institution or neglectful family may not be socially and emotionally ready to enter preschool, even though this is the age at which children with typical upbringings often start kindergarten.