Should Parents Know the System Better Than the System Itself?

When a family is raising a child with special educational needs, another reality soon follows—the need to interact with a wide range of institutions.

Schools, IRCs, healthcare providers, social services, local authorities and rehabilitation centres… Each has its own procedures, documents and services. Too often, it is parents who are left to work out how the system functions and where to seek specific support.

But parents do not come to these institutions to figure out how the system works. They come with questions about their child.

What can be done? What services can we access? Which documents are needed? Where do we go next?

One would expect the answers to be part of the system itself. Yet many families face a different reality. They have to search for information, read the legislation, call one institution after another, compare different answers—and ultimately figure things out on their own.

Sometimes parents arrive with a printed copy of a government resolution and the exact clause confirming their child’s entitlement to a particular service.

That speaks not only to parents’ determination. It also says a great deal about how difficult the system can be for the very people it is meant to support.

Schools should clearly explain issues related to education and the support they can provide. Inclusive resource centres should explain available options, the next steps and how support is organised. Healthcare providers should explain examinations, treatment options, referral pathways and available services.

And if a question falls outside an institution’s remit, the conversation should not end with, “You’ll have to ask somewhere else.”

Families should be told where to go next and what they need to do.

Because providing information is also a form of support.

Of course, parents should be aware of their child’s rights. But there is a world of difference between knowing your rights and constantly having to defend them.

Mothers should not have to become lawyers simply because their child needs a service guaranteed by the state. Fathers should not know resolution numbers better than the professionals they turn to for help. And families should not have to prove, time and again, that they are persistent, well-informed or ready to fight simply to receive the support their child is already entitled to.

Besides, every family has different resources.

Some parents can read the legislation, consult a lawyer, submit formal requests or appeal decisions. Others are trying to balance work, care for several children and the demands of everyday life. For some, finding the right information means spending a few hours reading official documents. For others, it is one more challenge they simply no longer have the energy to face.

But a child’s rights cannot depend on how well their parents can defend them.

The system’s responsibility is not only to provide services, but also to make information about them clear and accessible. Families should understand what this legal provision means in practice, what happens after documents are submitted, where a service can be accessed and what the next step will be.

Of course, no teacher, doctor or IRC specialist can be expected to know the answer to every question. And that is perfectly normal.

But the system should work in such a way that, even when a professional does not know something, they can still say: “This falls outside my area of responsibility, but I know where you should go next.”

For us, this is an important part of our work.

We create support pathways for parents, expand our Right to Know series and provide free legal assistance. Our goal is not to turn parents into lawyers.

Quite the opposite. It is to ensure that families do not have to spend excessive time, energy and resources searching for information—or the right door.

Legal support does not always begin with a complaint, a conflict or a court case. More often, it begins with a simple explanation: what rights a child has, what is happening in a particular situation, which institution is responsible, what steps can be taken and how a constructive dialogue can be established.

Schools, IRCs, healthcare and social services, and parents should not find themselves on opposite sides of the same issue. Their shared focus should always remain the child’s best interests.

Perhaps this is where changing the culture of cooperation should begin.

Parents should not arrive at an institution expecting a fight. Their questions should first be seen as what they are—a request for information and support. And the phrase “I don’t know” should never be the last word in the conversation. It can simply be followed by, “But I’ll help you find the right place to ask.”

Parents should, first and foremost, be parents.

They can be active partners in their child’s education, know their child’s rights, protect their interests and speak on their behalf. But they should not have to become their child’s lawyer simply to receive something already guaranteed by law.